Baby Head Smasher

My Father’s Day post was pretty sappy. What are you going to do? The kid melts me like the ending of “Terminator 2.”

Anyhoo, I was going to tell this story on Father’s Day, but its adult situations and adult language makes it eligible for it’s own post. Let me take you back in time to…THE SATURDAY BEFORE FATHER’S DAY…

The other Evanston Hamanns (Steve/Pam/Finn) were over for pre-Father’s Day beer with my mom and step dad, who were stopping by on their way to Door County.

Anyhoo, little Finn Hamann, super cute 2 year old, was running around generally acting hilarious. I invited him to help me water the flowers, since his condo living doesn’t include much water hose action and kids + hose = fun. So we went to the front of the house and soaked everything within a five-mile radius. He loved it.

So part of my watering included hitting a hanging plant from the top of our stairs. Finn, of course, followed me like a tiny blonde golden retriever. I jumped down the stairs and started nailing the bushes with water. I turned just in time to see Finn take a header off our bottom step. He landed on his melon with a crack that can only be described as “soul shattering.”

I scooped up the screaming child and handed him over to his mother, Pam. My brother Steve looked at me like I tried to kill his son. I looked over at Elijah, who’s expression seemed to say, “Oh, that’s what you do to 2 year olds? I can’t wait.”

The good news is Finn rebounded fast and exhibited no signs of concussion. He even let me play with him and the hose again, but with feet firmly on Earth. But secretly I felt miserable at my inability to keep children from cracking skulls. And every time I picked up Eli, he screamed as if to say, “put me down, baby head smasher!”