I arrived home the other night with grand plans for a quiet night of not screaming. Luca and Elijah had other plans. Before I got my shoes off I was bombarded.
“Dad. Dad. We’re going to play knights and you are going to be the big dumb giant name Rock who fights with a big ax.”
Luca handed me a spatula.
Eli was busy creating a paper quiver for the little plastic bow and arrow set Grandma Connie gave him. Luca sharpened the wooden sword we bought him at the Evanston street fair.
I tried to get into character? Who was Rock? What was his motivation? What did he love? What did he fear? I decided Rock was deathly afraid of the spaceship our team road around in looking for dragons to kill. Yes, we flew around in a spaceship. You’re going to start looking for logic now?
Luca squashed my plot device. And all other character traits I suggested. All he wanted Rock to do was smash things. And even though he was at least twice the size of Luca and Eli, Rock was the only one who seemed to get injured by our dragon foes.
“Rock! The dragon just killed you. Fall down.”
And then Luca would use his magic sword to bring me back to life. I tried to make things more interesting by making Rock not just dumb, but dangerously stupid.
“Luca. Rock not understand how pants work. How Rock keep pants on?”
“Dada. Stop that. It’s irritating. Just fall down and die.”
And die I did. Over and over. And occasionally ride in our magic space ship. Only to be killed by the next dragon.