Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The greatest discovery in the history of Eli

I'm not sure I can type this without crying. After much trial and error, I've finally figured out how to play X-Box while holding Elijah. Let me type this again for effect. I CAN PLAY X-BOX WHILE HOLDING ELI!, you may ask? Isn't holding a baby done with one's hands? And don't you play X-Box with your hands?

Oh, ignorant fools. I hesitate to explain my secret. But because I like you I'll let you in on it.

Step 1. Turn on X-Box, TV, Speakers, etc BEFORE finding a baby.

Step 2. Find a baby. Make sure baby has recently eaten/pooped so you have maximum playing time.

Step 3. Stretch your legs out on a couch high coffee table. Use a pillow to adjust the height of your legs. Blood rushing to baby's head ends X-Box time very fast.

Step 4. Position baby on your legs so he/she cradles between your legs. Do not allow baby to fall. Falling babies ends X-Box time even faster than blood rushing to baby's head.

Step 5. Enjoy X-Box.

I win because I get to: a) Play X-Box. b) Kind of hold my son.

Diana wins because: a) Husband out of way and she can watch HGTV. b) Sleeping baby semi observed so she can watch HGTV.

I'm sorry if I never post again because I CAN PLAY X-BOX WHILE HOLDING ELI.

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