Friday, April 20, 2007

And now a word from the dog

I'm not very happy with yesterday's post, "Cutest Baby in the World?" Not funny. I have a feeling it's lack of sleep. So, I'm going to take a break and let Grover the dog write today's post. Take it away Grover.

'So last week the Man and the Woman took me to Doggie Daycare. But it wasn't Doggie Daycare, it was for three days. Talk about awesome. I got to play with the ball, hang out with the Brown Dog and the Black Dog and the Nice Lady. But after a day or so, I noticed the dogs were laughing behind my back. So I went up to Brown Dog and bit him on the butt and asked that the deal was.

"Oh, man. It's over," he snickered. So I bit him again on the butt (that's how I get his attention). Black Dog also came over and laughed at me.

"Your Man and Woman are bringing home a human puppy. You can poop cotton candy and they still won't pay attention to you once the human puppy comes. Get ready to make friends with the bookshelf."

After biting Black Dog on the butt, I went and asked the Nice Lady what the deal is with human puppies. But she doesn't speak Dog, so she took me out to pee. Which was fine because I left a tennis ball out there. So I let the matter drop. Afterall, I'm the baby. I can fetch, I know at least 5 Human words (they haven't taken the time to learn one Dog word, jerks) and I'm adorable.

Anyhoo, The Nice Lady took me home and wouldn't you know it, there was a freaking human puppy (Stupid Black Dog. Thinks she's so smart). I couldn't get a good look at it because it was all wrapped up (um, fur keeps you warm, human puppy) and the Woman was keeping it out of my reach. I was devastated. I began to look for the bookshelf.

But get this. Every time I sit around the human puppy, the Man and the Woman give me treats and say, "Blah blah blah good boy blah blah." I only know 5 words, but I speak treat, my friends. So, sit around the human puppy? Treat. Lay down around the human puppy? Treat.

It's been 5 days now and things are good. My treat intake is huge. The Man is home all the time and takes me for runs. Mostly when the human puppy is crying. And get this, the human puppy smells like poop! And you guys know how much I love the smell of poop.

That is all. Grover out.'

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