Call your mom. Right. Now.

Saturday was officially "DIANA IS THE GREATEST WOMAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD" day.

Let me know if you've heard this one. Lady walks into a doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I feel great." Doc says, "You have a dangerous condition called Pre-eclampsia. It gives high blood pressure which is dangerous to you and the baby and can give you seizures. The only cure is to have this baby right now."

So not only does Diana have to have the baby a week early, they have to do this thing called an "EZ Catheter." Which is too painful and gross for me to describe on a family blog. I was great during the delivery. Great for the epidural. Great during the blood, goo, etc. But when they did the EZ catheter, I was sweating bullets and trying to figure out where to fall when I fainted.

Several hours later, I was fast asleep on our blue hospital chair when the nurse violently wakes me and says, "Mr. Hamann, it's time to push."

Oh let's see what else can go wrong? How 'about having the epidural wear off right when it's time to push?

Diana had to spend a good 20 minutes in extreme, Little House on the Prairie-style birthing. Meanwhile, the only way to lessen the pain is to try to get the baby out. But Dr. Miller was "on the way" and they asked Diana to wait for him. She hilariously informed the nurses that they were in a hospital, which is filled with doctors. Pick one and let's get going.

Good news, epidural re-applied. Pain gone. Baby good.

p.s. Diana's mantra during the bad 20 minutes? "Next time, adoption."

p.s.s Special shout out to Steve Hamann, who took down the "Ruby" letters from Eli's room so he didn't get a complex.