Eye Boogers

As you can guess, Diana and I have been pretty tired these last couple weeks, what with the night feedings and everything. Well, more Diana than me. The first couple days, whenever Eli so much as peeped I'd leap out of bed and help change diapers and adjust boob pillows and so forth. A couple days went by and when Eli would cry for his feeding, I'd roll out of bed, peek into his room to make sure he wasn't mauling Diana's boobs and then crawl back to bed. Now, I put Eli down after his witching hour and then I don't wake up until morning. I ask Diana to wake me up, but she says it's cruel. Did I mention I love her?

But I digress. People are tired here. So our night time activity revolves around watchng TV. Mostly HGTV, sometimes the Sopranos. But a few nights ago, we watched American Idol. You can imagine how tired we were that we couldn't turn off the show that represents the fall of Western Civilization. We spent the whole time saying how terrible it was. Seriously.

So the next morning rolls around and Eli had this crusty stuff all over his eyes. Eye Boogers. My baby boy got eye boogers from American Idol! So I immediately called my lawyer to file suit against the producers of American Idol. $2.5 million. Per eye. Now, my lawyer says the eye boogers are perfectly normal for babies and it's from clogged tear ducts and it will go away in a day or so. But I'm holding firm with my lawsuit. Stay tuned for the (positive, I'm sure) results.