Thursday, May 17, 2007


Let's talk about sounds. Elijah makes some pretty interesting ones. Yeah, we have the full-blown cry. Just scroll through the last few blog entries to see my take on that.

But Eli also makes some pretty cool/disgusting sounds as well.

He has the "You have 30 seconds to heat up a bottle or I'll cry" chirp. Which sounds like a rabid squirrel.

He has the "Most pathetic boy in the world" whine. It usually happens when he's about ready to sleep or wake up. Who'd have thought that the son of a former actress would be soooo dramatic?

He has the "Deep sleep yelp." I have no idea what this is about. He'll be coma-asleep and let out a blood curdling scream. This usually causes Grover to place all four paws on the ceiling.

He has the "Hunger strike relapse grunt/vaguely sexual sigh." When he really goes after the bottle, he makes these little piggy grunts, which make my toes curl under. This, combined with semi inappropriate sighs. People only enjoy eating this much on the Food Network.

And last night he added a new one. The "Grass Whistle." He makes these high pitch sounds that can only be described as the noise that a piece of grass made when you used is as a whistle when you were 10. This is a new one, I can only assume it means he'll sleep through the night while I'm in Jamaica.

That's right folks. I'm gunning for Worst Dad In the World by abandoning the family and heading to Jamaica this weekend for Tom's wedding. Diana is totally cool about it. The trip was planned before we even had an inside-Diana Eli. But I still feel like a big jerkface. I'm sure the rum will taste like poison.

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