Remember Andrew Dice Clay? He was a leather-clad comic from the mid 1980's whose major claim to fame was being shockingly offensive. By today's standards he was pretty tame, but back in the go go 80's? Religious groups were calling for his head. His most famous bit was taking children's rhymes and twisting them to be filthy. Hickory Dickory. Little Boy Blue. Old Mother Hubbard. All got the Diceman's treatment.
Now, this was all very hilarious to a high school student such as myself. I memorized every filthy word. All of my friends had their own Andrew impersonation.
But now? When I'm trying to comfort my baby boy? I can't get these terrible rhymes out of my head. Imagine me at 3a.m. the other night. "Come on Eli. Hickory Dickory Dock...this chick...oh, Damn you Andrew Dice Clay!"
My other favorite? The Nightmare on Elm Street rhyme:
One two, Freddy's coming for you...three four better lock the door...
My kid's only 6 weeks old and he already needs therapy.
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