Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tool Time

I’m in the Pacific Northwest making magic, gang. So I’m not up on all the Elijah-related hilarity. But this is a good opportunity to catch you up on an old Eli story that somehow didn’t make it into the blog.

I wasn’t in attendance for this event, but Diana bills it as her very own “Worst Parent In the World.” Come with me now as we return to the days before Elijah could walk. To the days of Speed Crawling. To the days of, well, a couple months ago.

So as she tells it, Elijah pulled one of his famous Houdini tricks where she turns her back for exactly two seconds and he crawls away at lightening speed. Thankfully, our house is tiny, so her search wasn’t long. He was, as usual, at the top of our stairs swinging on the baby gate.

Di scooped him up and probably told him he was the most handsome baby on the planet. As usual. But then she noticed the future Brad Pitt was chewing on something. Since he was way in between meals, she knew something was up.

Trying to wrestle something out of Eli’s mouth is like trying to pry open Grover’s jaws when he’s got a hold of a chicken bone. After wrenching his chompers open, Di extracted the offending item. And it was…drum roll please…

A screw. Yes. One of those things they invented screwdrivers for.

Where did the little Bob The Builder get a screw? I think we’ve established that ours is not a handyman household. And how can anyone think a sharp piece of stomach shredding metal is delicious? I mean, I’ve eaten my fair share of nails and staples. But screws?

And at the time, Diana somehow hoped the little incident wouldn't make it into the blog.

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