Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Word From the Dog

Hey gang. I’m frustrated by yesterday’s post. Not very funny. So, whenever I’m feeling uninspired, I turn it over to our guest contributor Grover The Dog.

Take it away, Grover.

Hello everybody. It’s me, your loveable pal Grover. Things have gotten very delicious here. For a long time, The Man and The Woman were feeding the human puppy milk. Which is fine. I’d lick up a few drops here or there. I’d much prefer sampling the human puppy’s flank steak, but I’m no dummy. There would be a lifetime ban of ball throwing if I chewed on the hairless puppy.

And then they started feeding it mush. Mush is delicious. Especially when I can lick it off the human puppy’s face. The Man and The Woman don’t approve and say, “Hey Grover. Hey Grover.” Which means I have to double my face licking efforts before they drag me away.

But get this. They’re feeding the human puppy people food now. They chop up turkey, bananas, also some nondescript crunchy things. And do you know what’s awesome? Almost none of the people food gets into the human puppy’s mouth. It throws the majority of the people food on the floor. Do you know who lives on the floor? Me. All I have to do is sit under its chair and wait for the snacks to fall from heaven. And when they pick the human puppy up, another rainstorm of people food falls from its lap.

I knew it was smart of me not to eat the human puppy.

Now, onto a more serious note. The human puppy has a toy that is evil personified. It’s a choo choo train that poops colored balls. Cleary possessed by the devil. Whenever it begins to roll by itself, I try to warn the humans, “Evil train! Evil train! Kill it!” The Man just laughs and scratches my ear.

I must find a way to destroy the evil train. Grover out.

No comments: