Saturday, January 5, 2008

Ears Like A Hawk

Aside from being unbelievably overpriced, our house is awesome. It’s exactly what I imagined my first home to be when I was a little kid (aside from a pet dragon and a pool filled with Kool Aid). Diana and I are two content Yuppies.

The only other drawback, besides the fact that it costs more than the national debt of Haiti, is the upstairs layout. The master bedroom is right next to Elijah’s room, which is at the top of the stairs. So you have to walk through Eli’s room to get to and from ours. And that’s fine for 90% of our day. But it causes a major pain whenever Eli is supposed to be asleep.

Because the kid has amazing hearing. If I am trying to sneak out in the morning to go to an early meeting, or if I’m trying to sneak by to change a sweaty t-shirt, I have to have ninja-like abilities or he’ll hear me, pop his little head up and give me a howl that says, “I caught you! Change my diaper and give me a bottle, bull in a china shop.”

To make matters worse, our bedroom door has the audio quality of a garbage truck filled with broken bottles. That’s on fire. I view opening our door like a jewel thief trying to extract the famous Baseball Diamond (“Great Muppet Caper” reference).

So until we can afford a new house (which based on this real estate market is never), or Eli suddenly develops waxy ears I’ll have to continue practicing to be a ninja jewel thief.

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