Melons

Not those kind of melons, you sickos.

For the most part, Hamanneggs is an open book into the lives of me, Di, Elijah. And Grover. You know, poo, sleepless nights, poo. But there are a few things that I’ve kept out of the blog. Like that time I was exhausted and smashed Eli’s face on my shoulder when I lifted him out of the crib. Or a few other things that Diana threatened me with my life if I revealed.

One of the things I’ve kept out of print is Eli’s head. When he arrived on the earth, Eli’s head was a little misshapen. And always laying on his back made his head even more misshapen. So much so that he developed a condition that doctors call “Mushy Head Syndrome.” Ok, that’s not what it’s called but I can’t remember and I don’t feel like looking it up on the internet. You can reverse MHS by putting babies on their stomach or keeping them upright when they eat.

But in severe cases babies have to wear a helmet because they can have complications and in rare cases brain damage.

It’s a huge bummer because they have to wear a helmet. Not to mention the fact that they have to wear a helmet. For the last few months we’ve been taking Eli to a melon specialist who was leaning towards making my son look like a Chicago Bear. It’s no coincidence that the specialist also sells helmets.

Well, good news. Yesterday was our last consultation with our doctor and everyone decided Elijah did not, in fact, need a helmet. Whew.

Why did I keep it out of the blog? The jinx, man. The jinx.

p.s. Elijah is still in the 95 percentile in height. We’re going to have to move him to a toddler car seat. We’re also changing his name to Kareem Abdul Jabbar Hamann.