Side baby

Having a baby is a series of very small and very large discoveries. Like say, exposing your child’s genitals to cold air makes him pee (still haven’t hit me, boy). Or a child who doesn’t sleep becomes an evil evil creature who spits venom and tries to eat your liver.

The other morning, Diana and I went on a family walk to Starbucks. On the way, we met up with this super nice mom named Jenny. Diana and Jenny, along with our friend Kitty, frequently engage in “porch sittin.” This involves buying trashy celebrity gossip magazines, drinking wine and, uh, dishing. I usually try to be in another state. Or at least downstairs playing X-Box.

Anyhoo, Jenny has a 4 month old, which in our mind makes her an expert on baby raising. Upon meeting Jenny, she joined us on our family walk and the subject of napping came up. While not a complete failure, I would judge Eli’s napping as “needs improvement.”

She said her son Charlie likes to sleep on his side for naps because he hates sleeping on his back. It was as if the heavens opened up and a choir of angels started singing. Could it be? That our son hates sleeping on his back and that’s what makes him so nuts?

Diana and I ran home (after I got a huge coffee) and put Elijah down for a nap, on his side. I am not lying here people when I say he fell instantly asleep. Miracle!

After Eli falls asleep we usually roll him on his back because, unlike Charlie, his neck isn’t strong enough to prevent him from getting a mouth full of co-sleeper if he falls on his face. And the new side sleeping isn’t 100% effective. He did have a couple awesome meltdowns today. But overall, I’d say we owe Jenny a new car.