Reading?

Those of you who have read more than one HamannEggs post will know Di and I went to Colorado last weekend sans Elijah. It gave me a glimpse into an alternate universe of our lives if we didn’t have a two year old son.

My alternate life would most certainly be spent on the liver transplant waiting list. Diana’s friends sure know how to have fun. I’m sure these shakes are only temporary.

Having done enough damage to the beer supply of The Rocky Mountains, we rushed home to reunite with our son and dog. I can’t tell who missed us more. The one who screamed with delight and ran around laughing his head off, or Elijah.

We demanded Di’s mom give us the lowdown on what happened while we were away. I figured we’d get the usual peeing in the potty/pooping on the walls stories when Sheila dropped a bomb on us.

“When the microwave ended, Eli pointed to the word “end” and said, ‘End!.’”

Di and I both accused her mother of being a bald faced liar.

She then told us that they drove past a gas station featuring an advertisement with the word “Go” on it and he shouted, “Go!”

It made me wonder if we should have left our son with a woman who clearly consumes hallucinogens. I half expected her to tell us about Eli growing fairy sings and shooting rainbows out of his nose while they rocked out to the Grateful Dead. But no, she insisted our son recognized two words without prompting.

As with all of Eli’s development, I’ll wait to make it official until I’m in the room. Which, based on my near future work schedule will be sometime in his mid to late teens.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of Di’s friends who said nice things about the blog and pretended to like me for 48 hours. Including the author of the famous “Fussy Ninja” blog, who my wife thinks I have a man-crush on. I could admit that, but then I’d have to admit my man-crush on at least 4 or 5 other dudes from the wedding.