Monday, June 8, 2009


Lately (and by “lately” I mean “for the last five minutes”) I’ve been reading about how women forget the pain of childbirth. I guess it’s so they’ll keep coming back. It’s the same way I feel about the newest Star Wars movies.

When I told my co-workers about Elijah 2, they all reminded me how bad it was the first couple of months with Elijah 1. Really? Was it that bad? I had some vague recollection of sleepless nights and throwing a bottle across the living room out of frustration. But for the most part I can’t remember a thing before Eli said “I love you” to me.

Well, this weekend Elijah decided to reenact the days of having a newborn by catching a nasty cough and fever. The poor little guy was up every two hours sounding like a baby seal.

At about 4am, after listening to Diana stub her toe/knee/torso/head on our bed fetching a crying Eli I thought, “Oh yeah. That’s right. This sucks.”

I made the executive decision to allow Elijah to sleep on me. There is something he finds comforting about it. I think it must feel like a giant, fat hairy waterbed. But it was the only way he’d sleep.

I think there is an old saying, “Never invite a vampire into your house and never let a baby into your bed.” Oh. I checked. That isn’t a saying. But it should be.

The rest of the weekend, the only way we could get Eli to sleep was by putting him on the giant fat hairy waterbed. Which meant I couldn’t sleep because I had a baby seal barking into my face all night. It also meant Diana couldn’t sleep because she was afraid I’d roll over and smother Eli and she’d have to rent a forklift to get me off him.

After taking him to the doctor this morning, we discovered he has Croup. Croup? Is that like The Vapors or one of those other Old Timey diseases that don’t exist anymore? Like Diabetes?

Thankfully, the doctor gave us some medicine that Eli refuses to take.

p.s. Today’s photo isn’t of Elijah 2. It’s some other kid I found on the internet.


Grover said...

I knew that didn't look like Eli or Eli 2!

Anonymous said...

Diabetes is alive and well. Just ask Wilford Brimley.