Sports

On a whim, Steve and I took our sons outside for some sports action. I was starting to worry that when asked in grade school, Elijah and Finn would answer planet Earth consisted of a 10X10 square of dirt in my backyard.

So we grabbed a deflated soccer ball and a miniature football and hit the grass. The boys loved it. It resembled a bad Clorox commercial, compete with the oversized baseball hats turned sidewise. Except I don’t think the good folks at Clorox would cast two hung-over dads with protruding bellies and tattoos.

My secret hope that Elijah would be a natural at sports was dashed after the 20th time he tripped over the soccer ball. Yes, it is a lot to ask of a kid who hasn’t been walking for more than 6 months. But he’s the 99% percentile in height. If this continues and he doesn't end up good at sports he’ll just be a weird giant.

I know it will fall on my narrow shoulders to teach him sports. One look at my DVD collection and you’ll know he came to the wrong place. I don’t think “The Lord Of The Rings” Trilogy was written with jocks in mind. I do watch a fair amount of baseball, but mostly as an excuse for beer drinking.

Steve and my sphere of football throwing accuracy was 3.5 feet. And even then Steve managed to jam his finger.

Thankfully, Finn and Eli became very excited over the prospect of collecting dandelions. And we still had 16 years until Eli’s eligible for the NBA draft. And there was baseball on.