These Are The Jokes

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Diana is the funniest woman I know. She’s like Lucille Ball mixed with Carol Burnett mixed with Phyllis Diller. But without being 157 years old.

But here’s the thing. She’s married to a non-laugher. I’ve spent so much of my career dissecting what’s funny and arguing over what’s funny and getting yelled at about what’s funny, it takes a ton of effort to turn on my laugh factory. So when Diana does something funny, instead of laugh I say, “That’s really funny.”

“If it’s funny, why don’t you simply laugh?” she’ll say.

I’ll point to my chest and say, “I’m laughing in here.”

She’ll then point to her head and say, “You’re making me crazy in here.”

Well, lately Elijah has been catching on to the concept of things being funny and not funny. If I’m doing my dance/hump with Grover, or Diana does her silly songs like “You Are a Poopy Pants Pants Pants,” Eli will point and say, “Funny.”

But he won't laugh. He just states the facts.

To which I’ll say, “You are correct, son. Your dada is very funny.”

Last Sunday, Eli was miserable and sick and, quite frankly, being kind of a jerk to everyone. We decided after 9 hours of him being whiney and clingy and throwing multiple tantrums, we all needed a break. So we made the executive decision of letting him watch TV. But just this once!

So we plopped him on the couch with a bag of Goldfish crackers. I went into the den to my Sisyphus task of turning 2008’s blogs into hardback when I heard Diana holler.

“No no no! Naughty Elijah! No! Do not do that.”

I reluctantly went into the living room. I found that Eli had dumped the entire contents of the Goldfish bag over his head. Little orange crackers were everywhere. In the couch, in his hair, in his clothes, you name it. Grover was excitedly eating the evidence.

Eli looked up from his mess and said, “Funny.”

I had to admit, it was a pretty good gag.

p.s. Today’s photo looks as though Eli and the rest of the pride just downed a gazelle.