Sunday, February 1, 2009

Magic Pee Pee

Unfortunately, this blog is going to be potty training central for a while. So sit back, drink a giant glass of water, followed by a cup of coffee, followed by 3-4 beers and enjoy.

Elijah was puttering around the bathroom yesterday with Diana when she asked, “Do you want to sit on the potty?” Eli looked at her with an expression that said, “Double Duh. Is there anything better?” He sat right down, not remembering to remove his pants. But we’re in the non judgment stage of potty training.

After a few moments, Eli popped up and exited, stage right. Diana finished whatever beautifying she started and peered into Eli’s potty. To her utter shock, it was full of pee.

How on earth could the child get pee into his potty around the protective layers of diaper plus sweatpants? Diana ran down possible explanations.

1. Elijah somehow acquired the skills of black magic. And could bend time and space to pee in some kind of alternate universe. But it seemed unlikely given the fact that he had yet to turn Grover into a goat.

2. Diana’s husband and or husband’s brother peed into Eli’s potty as a practical joke. Also unlikely given the fact that it would take one word from her to end their little Friday night nerd club.

3. Grover peed into the potty. Highly unlikely. As evidenced by the scattershot yellow snow outside, he does not have great eye-wiener coordination.

Diana was still contemplating when she encountered Elijah again and noticed his pants, which were soaked to the bone. This explanation proved much more reasonable. He peed with such force that it soaked through his diaper and pants and into the potty.

So mark it on your calendars. Eli officially marked his first pee pee in the potty. I’m sure it’s downhill from here into full time potty peeing.

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