Last Saturday night, I was basking in my parental
successes. I had (in my mind)
singlehandedly turned the corner on Luca’s potty training with the introduction
of Kindle playing on the toilet. Letting
him mess around on my tablet directly resulted in his first ever poop on the
potty. And there were clear signs that
my days of spending a billion dollars a month on diapers were coming to a
close.
Before retiring for the night, I took one last obsessive
look at my email. I mean, there could be
an advertising emergency. Someone may
need an “a” changed to a “the.”
I was surprised to see I had 10 unread messages waiting for
me. Huh.
I looked at the subject lines and they were all identical. “Your Amazon.com purchase is ready to be
shipped.” Ten times.
My immediate reaction was, “Dianaaaaaaaaa!” But then I
realized the purchase was a Lego Headless Horseman. Ten little plastic Headless Horsemen were on
their way to my house. No. The Headless Horsemen army was headed to my
Dad’s house.
I looked at the Kindle resting so very innocently next to my
phone. I turned it on and clicked on the
Amazon.com app in the electronic carrousel.
Sure enough, when I hit the button, I saw just how easy it was for a
tiny poopy hand to order Lego after Lego.
Luca’s poopy hand.
I spent the next hour canceling orders and emailing my Dad
to alert him to the strange packages that may or may not be heading to my
house.
The next evening while he was on the potty, I tried to
explain which button on the Kindle Luca was never to touch. This button.
Right here. The shiny one with
all the incredibly cool Lego toys. And
the one touch ordering.
Dad, expect more Legos soon.
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