Saturday, January 5, 2013

Barf In 3D

After the puking incident on New Year’s Eve, I figured Elijah had gotten it out of his system.  Get it?  Out of his system?  It being puke?  And his system being his system?

Anyhoo, we spent most of the day on the 1st destroying the house.  We had an extra member of the destruction crew since Diana had a rare day off from the wine store.  I couldn’t stand to look at the house one more minute, so rather than actually do any cleaning, I suggested we go watch “Monster’s Inc.” in 3D.

Now, this should technically be an official “First” for Luca.  But Eli decided he couldn’t allow me to actually do a blog post about his brother so he decided to barf ½ way through the running time.

Now, I did allow him to drink 24 ounces of red punch.  And I did allow him to eat a large thing of buttered popcorn.  And I did allow him to eat a pound of Gummy Bears.  But I am going to chalk this up to his coughing fits.

Over the digitally enhanced voices of Sulley and Mike Wazowski, I distinctly heard the pitter patter of barf hitting the already sticky floor of the Evanston theater.  I turned to see Eli filling his lap with the combination of last paragraph’s ingredients.  I immediately tried to catch the barf in a popcorn bag.  But he somehow managed to completely miss the bag and decorate the seat ahead of us.

A little voice inside my head said, “Run!” and I grabbed Eli and headed for the exit.  Diana and Luca followed closely behind.  Luca shouting at the top of his lungs, “Eli puked!  Eli puked!”

We paused just outside the theatre and I realized we had forgotten Eli’s coat inside.  I pretended to dab a corner of Eli’s puke covered shirt and said to Di, “Can you go get his coat?  I’m trying to clean him up here.”

Yes, I was sending Diana back into a theater that now smelled distinctly like our son’s barf.  But I’m a coward.  There.  I admit it.

Diana made it back without being lynched and we high tailed it out of there.  On our way, we spotted a dude with a broom.

“Um.  Hi. We’re so sorry, but our son vomited in theater 13.”

“Uh huh,” He said, with zero intention of going to clean it up.

“It’s about midway up on the right…we can show you.”

The man gave us a look that said, “Look lady.  I am in charge of theatres 1 through 5.  If you expect me to go clean up theater 13, and barf to boot, you are out of your friggin mind.”

The little voice repeated itself in my head, “Run!”

And so we ran. 

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