Limp Poop

Alright gang, I have a back log of poop stories to get to. So let’s not waste time here and, um, jump right into poop story #1: Luca poop.

Last Saturday, we had our first official BBQ with our Denver friends. For some reason, I put wayyyy too much pressure on myself to make it perfect. I made a much too complicated dish when our friends would prefer burnt hotdogs. I forced Diana to make her most complicated, but delicious pasta salad and I spent most of the day running around like Jerk Chicken with its head cut off and dirtying every dish we owned.

After my fourth trip to the grocery store to pick up something I forgot, I noticed Luca was out of sorts. Not the usual, “Fill my food hole,” anger, but something a bit more whiney and meeehhh. Diana noticed it too. Luca seemed to be uncomfortable.

And then we noticed he was limping. We think. Kind of. Maybe. See, it’s tough to tell if a 15 month old is limping. Because he can barely walk. He tends to stroll like a combination of Frankenstein’s Monster and Peter Boyle. But there was a lot more falling and bitching than usual.

After everyone left (I’d give my grilling a 7.5 out of 10), I bathed the boys while Diana loaded the dishwasher (we discovered it was broken an hour later which led to me hand washing every dish in our house).

After toweling off Luca, I decided to properly observe his limp. Now, why I decided to observe his limp while he was nude, I’ll never know. Well, strike that. I do know. I love watching him pee on the carpet. He LOVES to wiz on the carpet. He does it with such gusto that I can’t yell at him. He looks exactly like that famous peeing cherub fountain. He grabs his unit. leans back and wheeee!

But that night he played the trump card. The doo doo card. I didn’t actually see it happen. I was dealing with an Elijah bath emergency. I came back to the TV room to find a MASSIVE poop, which I attributed to Grover. Whilst yelling at him, I noticed a poopy footprint path across the room, ending in Luca’s butt.

By the way, he wasn’t limping.