Sample

Occasionally, I really have to stretch to find stuff to write about on the blog. I’ll stare at the boys (Luca in particular) and think, “Do something funny. I’m dying here.” Other times, I’ll get a backlog of hilarious stories that I can’t seem to fit in with all the other night terror/129 degree fever stuff happening.

This is a pretty big story that fell through the cracks.

Elijah is potty trained. Not even kind of potty trained. He simply doesn’t wear diapers anymore. I think its because Diana got him some pretty hilarious underwear. It’s a hacky thing to joke about, but man, I would love to go through my days knowing under my blue jeans I’m sporting repeating images of Elmo juggling the alphabet. It would make my marathon meetings much easier. “Why am I smiling? Oh, you know. The alphabet.”

We do require Eli to wear diapers to bed. We’re no dummies. If I had the kind of night terrors Eli does, I’d wiz all over myself on a regular basis.

Eli doesn’t even like to pee in his diaper. He will actually take off his diaper, place it on the floor and urinate into it. How proper.

But, being a sneaky little so and so, he knows he can get out of napping or bedtime by announcing he has to go pee pee on the potty. And he can squeeze out urine at will to prove his point. I think that’s how you get urinary tract infections.

So we’ve been telling him he has to stay in his room for naps, even if he does have to pee. “Go in your diaper,” we say. Elijah will wrinkle up his nose and look at us like we just asked him to pee in his own pants.

The other afternoon I was doing something productive like making out with Grover when Eli came down after his nap. His hair was awesomely hair-metal from sleep and he was carrying a cup from his art table.

“What’s in the cup?"

“Pee pee.”

“You peed in your cup.”

“Yes.”

“Because you didn’t want to pee in your diaper.”

“Yes.”

“And I told you you couldn’t come downstairs during nap time.”

“Yes.”

“Very well then.”

So I emptied his urine sample into the toilet. What was I going to do? Yell at him for have a freaking great idea?