Every day, Elijah does something that adds to the Vault Of Hilarious. Yes, he does stuff on cue and as his ongoing performance art. But my favorite stuff he does is when he doesn’t think anyone is watching.
Like for instance, Chucking. When Eli loses interest in something, he throws it. Not in an aggressive or angry way, he merely tosses it. Like he can’t stand the sight of it once it ceases to be useful. Sometimes over his shoulder. Sometimes across the room. But the idea of actually setting something down where he found it is anathema. Crayons careen off the TV. Matchbox cars ricochet off Grover. I can recognize the sound of a Sippie Cup hitting a hardwood floor from 1,000 meters.
Tonight, however, he decided he was done with his bath water. Couldn’t be troubled with, oh, I don’t know, taking the plug out of the drain. Heaven forbid. He decided the best way to rid himself of his bath water was to use his potty as a bucket and bail potty full after potty full onto the bathroom floor.
Yeah, this wasn’t good.
Water seeped down our floor and into the electrical box downstairs. The only casualty was the light bulb above our washer and dryer.
As Diana told me this story, she was clicking the light switch on and off as demonstration. I asked her politely to stop because I was afraid her demonstration would include showing me what water plus a couple thousand volts do to a woman in her thirties.
I assumed it would turn her into a superhero.
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