Sacred Cows

Since I’ve been taking over Elijah morning duties, I’ve noticed he’s begun to dream more. Or remember his dreams more. I’d say about twice a week he’ll wake up screaming bloody murder in the morning, chattering about nonsense about a recent nightmare.

Occasionally, he’ll say something slightly creepy like, “I feel sad because of what happens to Papa and Grandma.” Knowing there is an outside chance he’s clairvoyant, I’ll interrogate him about what happens to Papa and Grandma so I can warn them to stay away from sushi that day. But he usually responds, “Curious George recycles and goes to the garbage dump.”

Yesterday morning, I was running later than usual and needed to get Eli settled in front of the TV before my morning beauty regiment. But he began searching around our house asking about a talking cow.

“Daddy, where’s the talking cow? I need the talking cow.”

Thinking he was referring to one of the three plastic cows he owns, I joined him in the search. I opened a few closet doors and said, “Don’t you think the talking cow is in your room?”

“No. He’s in a closet.”

I asked him to describe the cow a little better so I knew what the heck I was looking for.

“He’s a big cow. And he talks.”

“You mean a full size cow?” And I leveled my hand at shoulder height.

“Yes. A big cow. He talks”

I tried to tell him we weren’t zoned for livestock in our house, but he was persistent about tracking down this verbal bovine. I realized it was probably something from the previous night’s dream.

I suddenly didn’t have the heart to tell him the cow didn’t exist. That by telling him things he dreamed about weren’t real, I would be stealing a part of his youth. I figured I could knock out Santa, The Tooth Fairy and The Eater Bunny while I was at it.

Thankfully, the all too familiar refrains from “Curious George” began blaring from the living room and Eli immediately bee-lined for his spot on the couch. As I showered, I wondered what the cow was telling him in his dreams. And if this cow was telling him these future events.

That would make him Hindu, right? I guess hamburgers are off the menu.