Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Noses and Mouths

It’s my intention with HamannEggs to give 50/50 representation of Luca and Elijah. But some weeks, like this week, will just have more funny stuff happen to one kid over the other. This week, it’s Luca.

If you’re looking for an Eli update, imagine a kid sitting in front of the TV. Now imagine the TV has a Curious George cartoon on it. Consider yourself updated.

Back to Luca.

Late last week, there was one brief period when he was fussy for one whole day. Heaven forbid. We didn’t pay it much mind except to occasionally say, “What’s the deal with him? Isn’t he supposed to be the quiet one?”

Diana eventually discovered it was because Luca had a slight cold and his nose was stuffed up. Did you know really young babies don’t know they can breathe out of their mouths? Me neither, but Luca’s doctor said it and if she said really young babies have x-ray vision, I’m inclined to believe her.

Later that day, Diana said Luca was feeling much better because she got the boogers out of his nose. It immediately conjured up images of that blue booger getter outer thing. You know what I’m talking about? It’s that blue bulb thing every parent has that looks like it gets out boogers. I actually think the official name is “Booger Getter Outer.”

So I said, “Did you use the Booger Getter Outer?”


“Did…did you use your finger?”

“No. I sucked it out with my mouth.”

Now, I’m fairly certain Diana would do anything for her sons. I can see her lifting a car off them in some kind of freak adrenaline surge. I can see her protecting her sons from a pack of wild boars with nothing more than a wine key.

Why does that image make me feel amorous?

Where was I? Oh yeah, booger sucking. Now of all the things I can imagine Diana doing in the name of her sons, placing her mouth on Luca’s nose and inhaling to extract boogers is not at the top of my list.

In fact, it wasn’t on the list at all until she placed that image into my brain. Never, ever to leave.

p.s. The HamannEggs family just got bigger. Our great friends Patrick and Leah just had a little baby boy, James William. He was 9 pounds, which means he can already beat up Luca. And probably Eli.

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