Friday, May 23, 2008

Water Sports

I’m hoping that this overly detailed chronicling of Elijah’s every poo, spit and yelp will result years from now in some hilarious cause and effect analysis. Aside from the obvious “Overly detailed chronicling of Elijah’s every poo, spit and yelp equals furious teenager.”

But already there are some interesting trends coming from the boy. From day one, he’s been obsessed with water.

He loves baths. Yeah yeah, which baby doesn’t? But I think he takes it to another level. He seems to be studying the water when he splashes or I dump a cupful into his hands.

Where it gets a little gross is he’s also obsessed with Grover’s water dish. If you turn your back for a second he’ll scrunch scrunch scrunch over to poor Grover dish and jam his hand into it. I can’t decide who gets the worst of it. Eli getting dog germs all over his hands or Grover for having his only source of water contaminated by baby goo. We’ve taken to baby-gating off Grover’s water dish to keep Eli out of it. But all it really does is causes Grover to slowly dehydrate.

He also loves the toilet. Yeesh, does he love the toilet. For someone who uses the bathroom standing up a good portion of the time, I’m usually at a loss when he crashes through the door and jams his hand into the bowl. I can usually only shout, “No! Gross! Not for babies!” Either that or stoop to stop him, which is both physically taxing and results in more trouble than it’s worth.

The only water he doesn’t like is Holy Water. But that’s just because a priest dumped it in his eyes.

Perhaps this will result in a future underwater, uh, demolition expert. Or a future underwater, uh, swimming type career. Well, I’m sure the future will hold plenty of career choices for the water obsessed.

Or he’ll be a plumber.

p.s. Since future Eli will most likely hate me for posting a naked photo of him, I’ve included an equally humiliating photo of me. Shame went out window long ago.

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