New Hamann Egg

Warning. This is a rare, non-100% Elijah focused blog entry. Elijah got himself a brand new cousin. A little girl born to Steve and Pam. What’s the name? In typical Hamann-fashion they have yet to name the little beauty.

Because we love hilarious birth stories here at HamannEggs, let me run down how as-yet-to-be-named girl joined us.

I was woken from a wine-induced slumber at 3am with Steve on the other line. Pammy was having contractions and they needed to head to Evanston Hospital. Although Tom was the official back up dad, they wanted me to be there when Finn woke up. Apparently they thought having someone who vaguely looks his dad wouldn’t freak Finn out. Famous last words.

So I sleepily drove over to the southern Hamann branch and saw a surprisingly casual Steve and Pam out the door. Tom took the couch and I took the master bed. After tossing and turning and sleeping about 4 minutes, I heard the pitter patter of Finn feet at 5am.

Now, imagine this scenario from Finn’s point of view. You go to sleep and your universe is very tidy. Mom, dad, dog, cat all where they should be. Then you wake up and your world has been replaced by two stinky men.

I sat up and saw a horrified Finn trying to make sense of the new bizarre universe he now lived in. I began talking way too rapidly and loudly, “Hi Finn! It’s me uncle Rick! You’re mommy and daddy went away and I’m here to take care of you! DON’T BE SCARED! Why don’t you climb into bed with me and sleep some more!”

He did what any of us would. He ran like the wind. Which woke Tom, who sat upright in the couch and said, “Darrrrgh!” Which scared Finn enough to hide in a kitchen cabinet. Tom and I managed to coax him out with grape juice. Within minutes he was happily watching cartoons and explaining his car collection to us.

Meanwhile, Steve and Pam were leisurely strolling into the hospital. The had filled out the “Pam” on the first form when an intern took one look and shouted, “The baby is crowning!” Steve began to stutter, “I’m not ready. I haven’t gone pee yet.” 15 minutes later they had a baby girl.

Thank goodness they didn’t stop off at McDonalds on the way or they would have to name their baby, “Ronald.”

Steve was home before Tom had to worry about what to do about changing Finn’s diaper.

Yay HamannEggs!