Monday, May 26, 2008

Me vs Di: What Not To Wear

Diana is famous the world over for her OCD. A Phil Collins song has been running through her head for a decade (I can’t mention the name or I don’t get any lovin’ for a month). If she ever meets him face to face, I pity the aging rocker.

She also, like other OCD suffers, needs things in their proper place. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen her stop in her tracks, twitch, and move a candle two inches. Unfortunately, this doesn’t match up with a child who suffers from a need to pull everything out of drawers. But she’s dealing and is able to focus her OCD energy on the only thing she really has control over: Elijah’s outfits.

This is a great form of OCD because it results in Eli looking super cute all of the time. Well, most of the time but we’ll get to that in a second. Take a look over the last 13 month’s worth of pictures. Every one he’s put together perfectly. His socks usually match his pants, which match his shirt, which match his hat, which (and look for yourself it’s true) match his PACIFIER.

I’m fine and dandy with it. But, I do not share her need to have a coordinated baby, nor will I go out of my way to make him coordinated. Not because I don’t understand matching, but because I view baby clothing differently. Any and all clothing will be covered in milk, dog spit, mud and food within three minutes of being placed on his body. So why bother? And Eli hates being dressed, so he constantly tries to leap from the changing table, which, if you don’t get clothes on him fast, means your first errand of the day will be to the ER.

So I’ll come down from his room with plaids and stripes, pants on his head, socks on his ears or any other kind of mishmash, which drives Diana up the wall. Most of the time she’ll just grab him and take him upstairs for a new wardrobe. But occasionally we’ll make it out of the house before she realizes he’s wearing tuxedo pants and a pajama top.

Which results in me getting a lecture in being mean to the mentally ill.

p.s. There is no photo today because Blogger is not working.

p.s.s. Never mind.

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