Friday, April 17, 2015

Ruined Wars

The new Star Wars movie is coming out this Christmas. Which means I am going to be an insufferable pain in the ass for the next 8 months. I missed a flight home from New York yesterday because I wanted to watch the latest teaser trailer.

The movie could end up being terrible, but right now it’s the greatest movie in the history of the world. Until I’m proven otherwise. Like “Phantom Menace” did so humiliatingly.

This is the biggest cultural thing I have in common with Luca and Elijah.  We don’t have sports or literature or really even video games to talk about. Because the video games I like best give you extra points for shooting people in the face.

So we have Wookiees.

As a ramp up to this Christmas, the boys and I have gone into full Star Wars immersion. I make special trips to the comic book store to get Star Wars comics on the day they’re released. We’re halfway through a marathon of all six movies, where I give a running commentary on every obscure character on screen (“That guy’s name is name is Ponda Baba. Some people called him ‘Walrus Man,’ but everyone knows that isn’t his real species…”)

A very nice co-worker gave me a massive Star Wars encyclopedia and I forced Eli to record a thank you video in response. There’s a real hostage renouncing his citizenship vibe to it, as if he were holding today’s newspaper instead of a hardbound book.

Yesterday, when I got home from my missed flight I sat both boys down and forced them to watch the new Star Wars trailer. I warned them prepare for blown minds. During the minute and a half, I leapt in front of the TV, acting out all of the parts and yelling, “Isn’t this AWESOME?”

When it was over, I stood in front of the boys, panting. They looked at me patronizingly. Their frozen smile were lame attempts to humor me.

“My mind is blown, Daddy,” Luca said with no conviction. I looked over at the pile of untouched comics and encyclopedia.

It dawned on me that they don’t like Star Wars half as much as I thought. Or maybe even at all. Over the course of my obsession I kind of ruined it for them. They just like me and want to have something in common.

I’ll take it.

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