Practice

I got home a little early from a New York trip and had dreams of going home, demanding Elijah and Luca do their homework (and making some up if they were done) and then feverishly play video games until Diana got home from work.

However, Diana ruined it by suggesting I take the boys to the park to do a little baseball practice.

Regular readers of the blog will know E and L are beautiful, smart and funny, but awful, awful baseball players. The reason they are awful baseball players is because I am an awful, awful baseball player. Which is the source of 99.9% of my fatherly guilt.

I entered the house and asked the boys if they wanted to go play baseball. I attempted to strike the right balance of enthusiasm, but also left the door open for going to get ice cream if they didn’t want to play.

They excitedly and cutely shouted, “Yay!” and our fates were sealed. On our ½ block walk, Eli informed me that he’d be doing the Luca instructing, since he was “already great at baseball.”

I delicately told him there may a few things he could work on, like catching, eye hand coordination, batting, general fitness, etc.

We stood in a triangle, roughly 10 feet apart. Luca requested some grounders, so I rolled the ball in such a way that it would come to a rest well before it got to him. He then, in the most adorable move I’ve ever seen on the field, would squat down, grab the ball with his non gloved hand and then gingerly place the ball into his glove. You know, for practice.

I’d then throw it to Eli, who made valiant attempts to catch. The ball would careen of his glove (an improvement over last year) and fly all over the field, frequently into his head.

Eli, who assumed it was my throwing that was causing the problem (he may be right), gave me a little instruction on how to throw. “Point your hand at the target, step, then throw, Daddy.”

Humiliated, I suggested we do some batting practice.

We Hamanns are not built for catching, but I’ll be damned if those boys can’t hit. Even Luca, who had never actually attempted to hit a thrown ball, got a hold of a few. But he became enraged when I suggested holding the bat correctly or standing in the actual batter’s box.

Elijah has the languid and laid back stance of that one famous baseball player who has a languid and laid back stance. But he connected time and again.

Satisfied I was Baseball Father of The Year, I suggested we go home for some well deserved video games.