Diana attended Luca’s first T-Ball practice. According to reports, he practiced introducing himself to his coach over and over, “Hi Coach Mike. My name is Luca. Nice to meet you.” That just beat out the internet video of babies playing with kittens as the cutest thing ever.
However, once practice actually started Luca got very nervous and demanded Diana stand with him in the field and run bases with him.
It makes sense that Luca would be a little intimidated. Before that very moment, Luca had never even seen a baseball or knew rule 1 of the game. What’s the deal with the standing around? Why can’t you bring the bat with you everywhere? Why do coaches have to wear those shorts?
Diana recounted this story to me wearing a look that can best be described as “Utter disappointment in my fathering.”
Well, I was under the impression that Luca was going to be the nerd boy. Eli was the jock (as much as a Hamann can be a jock). I figured he’d sit in our basement for the next 18 years, playing Minecraft only to emerge as a tech visionary. A four hundred pound tech visionary.
But now he’s interested in sports and needed to get some baseball education stat.
I woke up early Saturday morning and set up a bunch of Star Wars Legos in a miniature baseball diamond. The batter was using a light saber and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle played right field, but it was good enough.
Luca sleepily came out a little while later and instantly got excited about the baseball set up. I explained each of the positions and some of the basic rules. I then produced a severed Lego head to use as a baseball so we could run through some plays.
“Daddy, why do they all have their guns?” Luca asked.
“Well, I didn’t want to lose them. Just pretend they aren’t there. Now here comes the pitch!”
“Do they shoot the ball?”
“Here, let me take these guns and put them into a pile here. Now here comes the pitch!”
“Can the ball hit one of the outfielders in the crotch, Daddy?”
“Yes. Yes it can.”