Monday, October 13, 2014


Last weekend was the annual Fall Fest at Elijah’s school.  Pony rides, games, tacos (I don’t get it either). And of course, the haunted house.  Remember how cool that was last year?  Me neither. Eli refused to even consider it and Luca couldn’t make it past the entrance.

But this year would be different. Luca decided well in advance that he was brave enough to make it not only past the entrance, but kick that spook land in the nuts.

After we played some games and ate some gross tacos, Luca declared it was time to head to the HH. Rory, out of some strange cousin love, wanted to come too. So we headed to the deepest, darkest corner of Washington Elementary.

We passed by my friend Chris, who was acting as bouncer to the Haunted House. I searched his eyes for cutting privileges, but he was all business. So we headed to the back of the line. The long, long line.

Luca and Rory hung tough. They seemed unfazed by the sullen teenaged volunteers. They scared the crap out of me. And they didn’t seem to mind the really unfunny dad who exited saying, “Guys. Someone totally died in there.” Keep it up, unfunny dad and my son is going to see some unfake blood.

Eventually, we got to the front of the line and informed Chris that we would be electing to go with the un-scariest level. I reminded Chris of last year when miscommunication resulted in Luca getting the full scare treatment. He assured me that his skills at spook management were on point.

We entered the spooky area and there was this little box where you had to put your four tickets. The ticket box was bloody and drippy. Rory happily deposited her last 4 ticket, at which point Luca decided he was very, very scared.

“I need to get out of here!” he moaned.

Rory looked at the drippy box that ate her last 4 tickets and quietly walked out, secretly deciding not to marry Luca.

Maybe next year.

We then went to a pumpkin carving party at our neighbor Paul’s. After the party, squirrels ate the face off Elijah’s Jack-O-Lantern. Which was far more horrifying than any haunted house.

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