Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Bully Follow Up

There was a lot of very kind outpouring of support for Elijah after the bullying incident. Which is wonderful because it meant a lot of people were looking at the blog and increased traffic will result in more ad dollars for our advertisers.

Where was I? Oh yes. Bullying. Quite a few of you asked for an update and here goes:

After the event, I took a “wait and see approach.” Maybe things would work themselves out. Maybe the bullies would move away. Maybe Elijah would magically get great at basketball and dunk on the bullies.

Diana did not share my laid back (lazy) approach. She is a woman of action. She immediately emailed a bunch of moms letting them know what was up. She didn’t even really isolate the bully boys. Hers was a carpet-bombing approach.

Because Elijah’s sweetness and Aryan features makes him beloved by all moms, the parents rallied around him. They proclaimed their love all over the internet and yelled at their children (bullies and non bullies) to be extra nice. One little boy followed Eli around all day saying, “Eli! I want to play with you! Eli! Eli!” I think it scared Eli.

But immediate solutions were not enough for Diana. She launched into a long, cold war.

She immediately removed Eli from basketball and enrolled him into “School of Rock.” She bought him a very nice electric guitar and a matching Batman strap. Her goal? Elijah would eventually, years from now, steal the sporty bully’s girlfriend.

That’s commitment to the bit.  I didn’t remind her that Eli had already rejected guitar lessons a year or so ago. Nor did I mention that the jocks in my school stole all the rock guy’s girlfriends anyway.

I was just happy to have something to spend money on.

But to answer your question, dear reader, Eli’s doing fine.

p.s. That’s Eli and Luca whizzing off our porch.

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