Thursday, January 30, 2014

Dad Mom

I was greeted at the door by Elijah and Luca trying to beat each other in their proclamations of love for me. 

Eli accused Luca of only loving me for my soon to be revealed gift, Luca punched Eli and it ended with them both in tears.  Oh don’t worry boys, there’s more than enough of my awesomeness to go around.

I was worried they’d quickly remember why I usually occupy second place in their love and immediately went into spoil mode. Illegal Xbox time?  Yep.  TV on in a different room just in case?  Sure.  Candy?  Of course.  Ice cream pre and post dinner?  You got it.

After things died down a bit and stomachs settled, I asked Luca what he wanted to do.  He said, “I want you to be Mommy.”

Oh not this again.  A few weeks ago, we made up a game where Luca pretends to be an infant and I pretend to be his mommy.  I mainly flail around and ineptly drop baby while I put him to bed or baby gets some bad formula and poops all over me.  It’s all scatological and hilarious.

However, Luca demands that I dress up in a wig.  And by “wig” I mean “black t-shirt draped over the back of my head. 

Dressing in drag was okay for the first few times we played Mommy, but it makes me feel funny and I’m 99.9% sure my neighbor Paul saw me in character and can no longer look me in the eye.

I tried to talk him out of it yesterday, but he simply ignored me and selected a lovely t-shirt from my drawer.  It was a Martin guitar t-shirt, so Mommy had a few streaks of white in her hair, a la Bride of Frankenstein.

In the end, Mommy got completely covered in imaginary poop and Baby had fun before Baby decided he would rather go watch Pound Puppies videos on Youtube.

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