I was greeted at the door by Elijah and Luca trying to beat
each other in their proclamations of love for me.
Eli accused Luca of only loving me for my soon to be
revealed gift, Luca punched Eli and it ended with them both in tears. Oh don’t worry boys, there’s more than enough
of my awesomeness to go around.
I was worried they’d quickly remember why I usually occupy
second place in their love and immediately went into spoil mode. Illegal Xbox
time? Yep. TV on in a different room just in case? Sure. Candy?
Of course. Ice cream pre and post
dinner? You got it.
After things died down a bit and stomachs settled, I asked
Luca what he wanted to do. He said, “I
want you to be Mommy.”
Oh not this again. A
few weeks ago, we made up a game where Luca pretends to be an infant and I
pretend to be his mommy. I mainly flail
around and ineptly drop baby while I put him to bed or baby gets some bad
formula and poops all over me. It’s all
scatological and hilarious.
However, Luca demands that I dress up in a wig. And by “wig” I mean “black t-shirt draped
over the back of my head.
Dressing in drag was okay for the first few times we played
Mommy, but it makes me feel funny and I’m 99.9% sure my neighbor Paul saw me in
character and can no longer look me in the eye.
I tried to talk him out of it yesterday, but he simply
ignored me and selected a lovely t-shirt from my drawer. It was a Martin guitar t-shirt, so Mommy had
a few streaks of white in her hair, a la Bride of Frankenstein.
In the end, Mommy got completely covered in
imaginary poop and Baby had fun before Baby decided he would rather go watch Pound Puppies
videos on Youtube.
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