Thursday, January 16, 2014

Fight! Fight!

I love watching Elijah and Luca fight.  It’s sick, I know.  But there is something so wonderful about the age where it’s still social acceptable to raise your fists in anger.  I’m so past that age I can’t even remember my last fistfight (I actually can, but the details will make you feel less of me).

Because Luca is more feral and Eli is more sensitive, they’re pretty evenly matched.  So I don’t usually have to intervene.  Unless I feel their screaming gets too loud, where I’ll bark, “Knock it off!” in the mean dad voice.

Here are the moves they’ve mastered:

“The Scream.” I alluded to this above.  Admittedly, Luca is better at this move.  You simply get your voice to a volume that blow’s out your opponent’s eardrums.  Or makes your dad yell at you in the mean dad voice.

“The Pinch.”  This one is all about location.  Upper arm fat and thighs are preferred.  But Elijah will pinch Luca’s butt to humiliate him.  Which I think he learned in Sun Tzu’s “Art of War.”

Which leads me to “The Pants.”  This is another humiliation move.  You yank down your opponent’s pants, revealing his buttocks.  You can follow this up with “The Pinch” as a double move.

But my favorite all time move is “The Almost Hit.”  Deep down, they love each other so much that they have no interest in doing any actual damage.  So they’ll rear back their fists and swing with all their might, but they’ll put on the brakes before they strike flesh.  There’s almost that sound of tires burning asphalt.

And then the usual wrestling and rolling around and crying.  And then the dad yelling.

I’m heading out of town for a few weeks on anther commercial shoot or two.  I’ll miss these little buggers.  Especially the fighting.

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