Colorado Germs

Aside from missing my brother Steve real hard, I love Colorado. We gots a great house, I gots a great job. We gots great friends. I’ve been able to shed my fear of the word “gots.” We’re 99.8% happy.

Oh, what’s the .2% unhappy part? The super smart Colorado germs. These little bastards knew I was going to be busy this week. And this is the week they chose to mount their offensive on the Hamann family.

So while I’ve been toiling late nights pouring over Thesaurus.com for synonyms of “mountain,” Diana and the boys have been sick as dogs. Chest coughs. Runny noses. Projectile vomiting.

The worst part? Elijah inherited my tendency to be an absolute a-hole when I’m sick. He’s been a complete jerk this whole week. I don’t know actually know the details of his offenses because whenever Diana tried to explain them to me in her sick voice, I’d say, “You sound exactly like my Grandma June!”

I came home the other night to see a simple note on our fridge. It read, “Elijah cannot watch TV for 2 nights. I love you.” My heart sunk. The entire basis of my babysitting in the 6am hour is turning on TV.

The next morning, I woke up to Luca squalling. When I finished giving him his bottle and changed his diaper (or as he says, “Piper-Piper.”), Eli was sitting up in bed. He was pale and red eyed.

He rubbed his face and said, “I can’t watch TV, daddy. I lost my privledges.”

I said, “And we’re all being punished this morning.” We three trudged upstairs and, without TV, had to sink to playing with each other, laughing and learning life lessons.

No, I am not happy about it.

p.s. Since I haven’t been home in the last week to take kid pics, this is my Chicago friend Jimmy Olson and me in our Denver offices. Yes, they required that we grow beards.