Monday, September 20, 2010

Luca Got Christened

We’re heading off to vacation, gang. So I won’t be able to report the comings and goings of poop and pee this week. I imagine the 17 people who follow the blog will fall to negative two. But who needs ya?

Where was I? Oh, bringing the boy into the church. No surprise, but Luca’s biggest religious day to date began with Elijah. Vomiting all over our bed. I blamed it on him chugging from my bedside water bottle all morning and yelled at him thusly.

It turned out that Eli was, in fact, sick. So most of Luca’s Christening day was spent following Eli around with a bucket and carpet cleaner.

Around 3 pm, Diana’s folks arrived to drive with us to the church. Luca was dressed in a blue shirt and sweater to bring out his eyes. The Lord likes coordination. I declared Eli okay to attend the ceremony. Eli responded by vomiting all over our couch.

Diana’s dad Don leapt to the rescue. He would stay at home with boy #1. The fact that the Bears were in a tight game against the Cowboys had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

CUT to the church. Our small, but powerful contingent was all there. Luca was in great spirits.

And, I say this with almost 100% certainty, I believe the priest liked Luca best. He gave Luca an extra portion of scented oils. And I am sure the priest winked at him when he delivered his sermon. This story was most likely repeated among the parents of all the other kids. But they lie.

Luca and the priest had a falling out the minute the dunking occurred. Luca decided at that very moment that being nude in front of 50 or so strangers and the indignity of getting ½ submerged in holy water was too much.

Luca cried until we held him upside down. At which point he laughed. He loves being upside down. I couldn’t help but feel it was semi sacrilegious having an upside down baby at church, but whatever.

We all high tailed it back to the house for that most Christian of meals, wine and pulled pork sandwiches.

We were greeted by Don, who instead of his suit, was wearing one of my towels around his waist.

I thought, “Sheesh, the Bears winning is exciting. But not THAT exciting.”

It turns out Elijah had puked on him with such ferocity that it rendered his suit unwearable. I think Don burned it in the yard.

We scrambled to find Don something that was more appropriate to Luca’s Christening than my white towel. We opted for my old blue bathrobe.

The rest of the evening was spent with some of my favorite people eating and drinking and laughing at Don’s expense. And if that isn’t evidence of a higher power, I don’t know what is.

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