Lollygagger

I finally got the flu, gang. It stinks. Except for the not going to work and getting to spend the whole day in bed eating soup and playing on the internet part. But I find it difficult to write without, you know, throwing up. I tried to get Grover to do one of his guest blogger pieces, but he’s still mad at me for having a second baby.

As I’ve been laying up here sweating, I’ve been able to hear the delightful caterwauling of the kids downstairs. But at about 3pm, Diana tried to get the kids dressed and ready to go to Target. “Elijah, get your shoes on. Elijah, get your shoes on….”

I dozed off into a fever sleep and woke up at 3:55. Diana still hadn’t gotten Eli out the door. “Elijah, get your shoes on. Elijah, get your shoes on.”

Our son has become the King Of The Lollygaggers. I can’t decide if it’s because he knows it drives us crazy or if it’s because TV has shredded his attention span.

Last weekend, in order to give Diana a sick break, I took Luca, Elijah and Grover on a simple walk around the block. After forcibly cramming him into shoes and a jacket, we walked outside. This is how it went:

I’d walk 50 yards with Grover and Luca and wait. And wait. And wait. Eli would walk two steps and examine a leaf. Then he’d grab a stick that looked “exactly like a Star Wars gun, daddy!” And shoot passersby. And then he’d fall to the ground, dead. And then he’d crawl two steps. And then he’d notice an anthill. He’d have a heart to heart with the ants and then take another step. Where, inevitably there would be an interesting leaf.

At this point my patience would be evaporated and I’d stomp over and grab his hand to drag him along our walk. Holding his father’s hand flies in the face of his idea of walking, so he’d howl that he wouldn’t lollygag anymore and keep up as long as he didn’t have to pass me his flu germs.

Eventually, I’d relent and let him have his hand back. Eli would actually keep up for a…

Hey, that leaf looks awesome.

p.s. Today’s photo is the result of Diana allowing Elijah to dress himself for school. It must have been “Teenage Thai Prostitute Day.”