Friday, August 27, 2010


When I arrive at my front door every night, I crouch down as low as I can get and then open the door. 10 times out of 10 I find myself face to face with Grover, who thinks I’m hilarious. I say, “Hello, my special little guy,” and then straighten myself up to my maximum 5’10” and shout, “Hello human members of my family!” Or something like that.

Elijah usually comes running at that point. Naked. Screaming with delight. And before my hug, before I can ask him about his day, before I can even get my shoes off, he asks.

“Can I play wif your phone?”

And it isn’t just the moment I walk in the front door. It’s when I’m tickling him. It’s when I’m on the toilet. It’s in the middle of the night. It’s when I’m playing with my phone.

“Can I play wif your phone?”

“Can I play wif your phone?”

“Can I play wif your phone?”

I should have never, ever, ever let him see my awesome iphone. Yes, I have an awesome iphone. They issue them to advertising people along with skinny jeans and beards. From what I understand, the phone makes calls. But that’s not what it’s used for.

A few weeks ago, I showed him an app on my iphone that simulates a Star Wars lightsaber. Now, why did I do this? I have no clue. Was I drunk? But he quickly became obsessed with playing with my phone. And over time he’s discovered all the games that appeal to 3 year olds and 38 year olds.

This morning, I found myself late for work and chasing Eli through the house to reacquire my phone. And had to literally wrestle it from his hands. At which point he threw a tremendous fit.

On a side note, Elijah cannot dress himself. Buttons frustrate him almost as much as cramming his head through a t-shirt. And yet, he can use 4G touch screen technology. On another side note, Diana cannot figure out how to use 4G touch screen technology.

1 comment:

Rakesh said...

Ha! Our almost-two-year-old, Arjun, has a similar affliction. And by affliction I mean the display he puts on once the iPhone has been wrestled out of his suprisingly-strong-for-an-almost-two-year-old grip.