Hats

I think I’ve mentioned this, but we’re planning our first big family trip to Mexico at the end of the month. Me, Di, Elijah and Di’s Mom (our official margarita tester) will be staying at a cool condo on the beach in Puerto Vallarta.

Now, the thing with overprotective upper middle class parents is we love to throw money at perceived problems. Take the sun. Our parents viewed a sunburn as a rite of summer passage. I once burned so badly that my father was convinced I’d lose my nose. Mental note, make dermatology appointment. Well, Di and I are deathly afraid that Eli will get sunburned in Mexico.

Yeah, the sun is much closer than the 1970’s and studies show baby skin is way more open to sunburn and blah blah blah, but we’ve been reduced to buying the boy a $40 UV protected swimsuit. I don’t know how I got conned into this, but I’m shelling out four Hamiltons for something he’ll wear for exactly three months before his giantness grows out of it.

I digress. The most hilarious thing we’ve bought him is a sun proof hat. Let me try to describe it. Imagine a mullet made out of brightly colored UV protected canvas. I guess it’s to protect his neck. But I think it’s to teach humility.

But here’s the rub. Eli hates to wear hats. Sox baseball hats, Stocking caps, Indian head-dresses. He’ll throw them off the second you place one on his head. So I imagine the purple mullet will be money well spent.

I did find that Eli will wear a pair of pajama bottoms on his head for several hours. Much to the dismay of his mother.