Last Saturday, Luca and Elijah and I drove up to Ocomowacoconomoconowoc, Wisconsin to visit my pal Jimmy’s parent’s cabin. Picture in your mind the greatest lakeside cabin in the world. Now make in 50% nicer and charming-er. Then add a boat. And a couple American flags.
I had to physically restrain Elijah from running out to the dock before putting on a life vest. Conversely, I had to physically force Luca out onto dock, whose fear of water continues to baffle me.
I became the designated worm/hook getter on-er, but the slimy beasts quickly became pets with names like “Wormy” and, well, “Slimy.” Jimmy suggested we all take the speedboat to a lakeside bar to see if outboard motor stink really enhances the taste of burgers.
Once we started, Elijah exclaimed, “I’ve never been on a boat before!” Ouch. How could he have gone 6 years without ever being on a boat? Does that make me a bad dad? No. Right? Right? No. Right?
I turned my attention to the 3 year old, who was rocking back and forth saying, “The boat is going to fall over…the boat is going to fall over…” I managed to quell his phobia by teaching him the fine art of peeing off the back of the boat. Of course every other child under the age of 40 needed to immediately try their, uh, hands at peeing off the back.
They even got the opportunity to take a shot at steering. Elijah drove in a completely Elijah-way. Casually, with little regard for safety or maritime law. Luca, of course, drove very Luca-y. With great concentration and focus.
Eventually, we made it back and did a little more fishing. With yours truly being the only one to nab a fish. Which hoisted me to god-like status in the boy’s eyes. Hopefully undoing some of that whole not ever taking them on a boat thing.