Sunday night, we finished up another successful family dinner. By “successful” I mean “Elijah and Luca both coated the back of their spoon with the dinner I made and licked it.”
Subsequently, we needed to supplement their calorie intake. Diana suggested she make some fruit smoothies. She gave both boys a green plastic cup full of purple goo and, because she is classy, gave herself a wine glass full.
Eli wanted a wineglass for himself. But we told him no. No wineglasses for you.
This information entered into the space between his ears and got lost in the clutter of Mighty Morphin Power Ranger episodes and catalogue of poop jokes. Eli climbed onto the countertop and reached into a cabinet for a glass.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him fall. Wham. Right onto our radiator. The wineglass followed closely behind, shattering everywhere and showering him with glass.
Eli immediately ran to the top of our stairs shrieking. I followed closely behind. He was hidden in the shadows, heaving uncontrollably. Now, instead of grabbing him and cradling him in my arms, I shouted at him. Are you cut? Eli? Are you cut? Eli! GET DOWN HERE AND TELL ME IF YOU ARE CUT!
Diana, on the other hand, passed behind me and scooped up Eli. He was fine except for a nice scrape and bruise from the radiator. Diana: 1. Rick: 0.
Last night, I came home from work and found both boys in the bathtub. They greeted me with shrieks of delight and I said, “Oh good. You’re both together. I have to talk to you.”
They cocked their heads like the little puppies they are.
“Remember last night when you fell, Eli? Now instead of grabbing you and holding you and making everything okay, I yelled at you. That was not cool. I should not have yelled. But, in my meager defense, I thought you may be in shock and really hurt and I, quite frankly, was scared. That doesn’t make it okay. But that’s the reason. So, I apologize. Do you understand, Eli? Do you understand?”
Eli said, “I’m the water garbage man and this is my garbage (holds up a washcloth). And I eat water garbage.”
He then jammed the washcloth into his mouth. I’m going to take that as apology accepted.