Last Friday night, Luca begged me to play superheroes with him and Elijah. They get to pretend to debate which super hero they want to be, but always end up being Spiderman and Iron Man. I then transform into the Indestructible Robot. Indestructible Robot’s power is shouting “Destroy! Destroy!” and throwing superheroes onto the couch.
Before the throwing began, Elijah asked if we could put on some fighting music. I asked what he meant and he said, “You know. Angry, fast songs.”
In the 800s on our cable box, they have pre programed stations like “Today’s Hits” and “Today’s Dance Hits.” I scrolled through, pausing at “Today’s Urban Hits.” We listened for a moment, hoping I had stumbled on some angry East LA Rap. But it was just a dumb song about some guy’s 99 problems.
A few scrolls later and I found it: “Metal Dungeon.” There was nothing Today about it. It was a collection of the heaviest metal in the world. King Diamond. Iron Maiden. Slayer. Music that I hadn’t heard since my high school dish washing days at Golden West Steak House. The screaming lyrics and face melting guitars instantly brought back a memory smell of industrial strength dish soap and Camel Lights.
I turned to the boys and said, “Is this too scary for you?” But they were both engrossed in a two-boy mosh pit. Both of them banging their heads to the 16th notes. I began tossing them onto the couch, violently. Luca demanded we turn off all the lights, which added to the dungeon vibe.
For an animal with surgically removed genitalia, Heavy Metal stirs up something in Grover that can only be described at “heat.” I have never seen a dog go to town like Grover to the beat of “Breaking The Law” by Judas Priest.
The Headbanger’s Ball ended when Luca missed the couch on a bad toss and smashed his head into our end table.
He was more upset by the fact I canceled the game than the dent in his skull.