Saturday, February 18, 2012


I know it’s been almost a decade since I’ve been to London, but I was under the impression that there were no children within the city limits. But I’m finding the streets covered with little 4 year old and 2 year old boys. All named Elijah and Luca. And all hell bent on making me miss my sons terribly. And, in some cases, stealing my wallet for the Artful Dodger.

I kid you not, part of my job here is to find 2 little kids and a Mom to be in a commercial. After the 100th cute little blond boy and brunette mom walked though, I began to weep openly. I also began shouting from the casting couch, “Hey! Who wants to play T-Rex Café? Do you like fire trucks? No? Get out of my sight!”

I found myself sitting in a pub drowning my sorrows in a delicious Guinness (it’s true, they taste better here) when the bartender came over and we had this completely fictional exchange:

BARTENDER: ‘Ello guvna. Why so glum in your lift and loo?

ME: I miss my wife and my kids. Bad.

BARTENDER: Take the tube ‘ome and chat ‘em up on ye olde video chat on ye olde computer! Chim chim cheree!

ME: Yeah! I can do a video chat! Thanks, fictional London bartender!

I ran home and got on a video chat with Eli and Luca and Di. Within minutes, both boys were fighting so vigorously over the camera that we had to disconnect.

But it alleviated my pain for the rest of the day. I can now make it back to the pub.

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