Luca Car

I was riding my bike home from work the other day when something caught the corner of my eye. I screeched to a halt and beheld a glorious sight: An orange plastic child-sized car. Attached was a sign with the magical words “F-R-E-E.”

I scooped up the car, ignoring the distinct rattle in the wheel, area and walked it home with my bike. A guy walking his dog said, “Now there’s something you don’t see every day.” I said, “Shut your face!” In my mind.

I arrived home and Luca immediately declared it “The Greatest Day Of My Short Life.” The kid completely flipped over the (most likely scabies covered) car. Never mind the fact that it kind of smelled. Never mind both front wheels do not move. Never mind the fact that, when pushed from behind, his little feet become trapped under the car.

We eventually placed the immovable car in the backyard where, among the uncut grass, it gives our home a distinctively white trashy feel.

If it was up to Luca, he’d eat, sleep and poop in this toy, which he has delightfully dubbed “Luca Car.” When he isn’t sitting in Luca Car, he is standing by our sliding screen door pointing and shouting, “Luca Car! Luca Car!”

Elijah, who has absolutely zero interest in cars of any kind, suddenly can’t stay away from Luca Car. Why? Because it makes Luca furious when Eli sits in Luca Car. And Eli loves to make Luca furious.

So whenever we walk out of the back door, Elijah bolts as fast as he can to Luca Car, often times shoving Luca out of the way. This makes Luca shake with rage as he waddles over to Luca Car. Eli takes great pleasure in pretending not to notice as Luca screams in his face and tries to drag him from the car.

I usually have to physically restrain Luca and demand Eli give the car back. He tries to protest, saying how much he loves sitting in the immobile vehicle, but he can’t help but crack a smile at his shrieking brother.

Eli better enjoy it, because I think Luca is about two weeks away from being able to beat him up.