Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Last night we went to dinner with some pals. When we got home, we paid off our sitter and I retrieved Elijah from our bed. As I carefully placed my arms under his body I noticed something. Wet. Real wet.

It seems as though Eli convinced our sitter that he didn’t need a diaper to sleep and she bought it.

The soaking was exclusively on my side of the bed, so Diana simply went to sleep and sent me to the daybed. In hindsight, sleeping on a half urine soaked bed was pretty gross of Diana. But sleep trumps everything.

This morning, I awoke to Elijah crawling into the daybed with me. “Oh, hi daddy. You scared me.”

Shortly after, I bottled and diapered Luca and set him lose on the floor. I then crawled back into the daybed and tried to fall asleep. Eli even let me hold his hand for a minute.

But then it happened. There was a third body in the bed with us. LUCA. He finally figured out how to climb onto the bed. Game over, man. Game over.

Eli and Luca immediately turned into two puppies, crawling all over my head. They fought slash tickled each other slash irritated the heck out of me. After a particularly loud bout of hair pulling, I shouted, “Get off get off get off! Go bother your mother!”

They both shouted, “MOMMY!” and raced into our bedroom. Within seconds, both puppies were all over her. Diana found it adorable for three seconds. Then a child sized foot stomped her boob.

“Get off get off get off!”

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