Mother’s Day

We’re on our third screen door. They keep getting destroyed. How? Well, our children cannot bear the thought of being without their mother. Elijah or Luca will spot Diana trying to make an escape to our garage and they’ll start crying and shrieking, “MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!” And, on occasion, Luca will rip through the screen like The Incredible Hulk and chase her down.

So it’s not like Diana needs reminding how much they love her. But we had to mark Mother’s Day in a non screen door way.

Eli and I brainstormed on Saturday.

“I think we should make her breakfast in bed,” I suggested. Elijah got excited by this. So I asked what he thought we should make. I said, “What do you think mommy’s favorite food is? We’ll make that.”

Eli thought for a moment and said, “She likes water.”

Menu complete, we moved on to the card making. I quickly drew some green flower stems and Eli beautifully scribbled some flower tops. I then asked him if he wanted to do a few more cards. I’d do the outlines and he could color them. But he had to suggest the subject matter of our drawings.

“What about ant traps?”

“I don’t know if mommy likes ant traps. Let’s keep thinking.”

“Cars? Star Wars? A train? Dora The Explorer?”

“Mmm. I dunno, pal.”

“Oh! How about a grilled cheese sandwich?”

We ended up agreeing on an elephant and a grilled cheese sandwich.

Mother’s Day was, as usual, filled with Diana’s springtime love; planting flowers without children hanging on her pants. We topped it off with a trip to the ice cream parlor, where Elijah had one of the most epic freak outs of his young life. I’ll describe that horror a little later.

Diana, you are the greatest mom in the world. You have raised two unbelievably kick ass kids. You’ve made me the happiest dad ever and to quote Lizzi Weinberg, “Your wife is a total knockout.”

I’d rip down a screen door for you any day.