Ears

Diana is lovely. Ask anyone who still harbors a crush on her from her Phish tour days. She just has good genetics. So image her disappointment at birthing boy #1 who, while beautiful beyond belief, has a full head of blonde hair and bright blue eyes. People on the street still think she’s Elijah’s nanny.

I think she secretly hoped this time Luca would at least have a passing resemblance. But if you look at almost every child born to a Hamann in the last 100 years, her odds are stacked blondly and blue eyedly against her.

The heavens smiled on her because boy #2 is a raven haired beauty like his mommy. And while he has the newborn blue eyes, they do look mighty dark.

But, unfortunately for Luca, he inherited something terrible from me.

Ear hair.

His ears are covered in thick, black fur. In fact, his ears look more like Grover’s than anyone else in the family. But I highly doubt Grover had anything to do with Luca. Let’s face it. Given Grover’s obsession with me, I’m thinking he bats for the other team.

And if you look closely, you’ll see he doesn’t exactly have eyebrows. It’s as if the good Lord got a little mixed up on where the eyebrows go and accidentally attached them to Luca’s Dumbos.

Our doctor says that the ears will lose their fur soon. But in case it doesn’t, I’ve been researching baby ear waxing. I couldn’t find anything on Google. But they did recommend a couple great places to get his ears pierced.

Well, it’s been seven days and I’ve written the first blog that will make Luca hate my guts when he reads it later in life. I’m a little behind schedule.