Tuesday, November 17, 2009

CHART O BOT


I came home the other night and was greeted by the usual greatest greeting in the world, the shrieks of my boy, the agitated leaping of my dog, and the far less crazy, but equally delightful kiss from my wife.

Elijah began chattering about robots. Not knowing what in blazes he was talking about, I asked the translator.

Diana said, “We made a robot suit out of a cardboard box today.”

I was overcome with love for my wife. As a card-carrying nerd, I am hopeful Eli will follow in my footsteps as a marching band/Star Wars dork. Ask Bill Gates if he prefers being a nerd to a jock. He’ll more than likely throw a stack of thousand dollar bills at your head.

Diana, on the other hand, would prefer our son to be football star/prom king. That’s because she, unlike me, was part of the prom court and knows the benefits. The benefits being telling your non-prom court husband you were in the prom court. Do I sound bitter?

Anyhoo, Diana helped Eli make a robot out of a big old cardboard box. He put it on and did a series of beeps and boops.

I took a closer look at the robot box (I’ve attached a photo for your review) Along side an Eli-drawn series of scribbles, which I assume were meant to be wires, was Diana’s rendition of…a bar graph.

A bar graph?

What kind of Robot has a bar graph? Was he supposed to be the POWERPOINT 2000?

“SALES FIGURES DO NOT COMPUTE. WARNING! WARNING! 2009 PROJECTIONS LOOKING GREY…”

I guess I can’t expect the prom queen to know robots need, at minimum, metal pinchers, a couple laser guns and an “evil/not evil” switch.

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