Not Good

Writing the blog does take a small amount of effort. I usually have to tap my pencil against my head and stare out the window for a few moments to convert the mundane details of our lives into something legible. But occasionally, blog entries emerge fully formed and the only thing I have to do it get it typed before I forget it.

This week, a hilarious blog entry literally popped out of Eli’s butt and the world conspired against me to get it typed. It happened Wednesday and work came crashing down on my head. And yesterday Diana was laid up after a doctor appointment, which left me in charge of a restless two year old whose entire life seemed to revolve around an intense desire to take his shoes off in broken glass filled public places.

Well, thankfully today I can skip meetings and get this entry done.

Allow me to set the stage. Diana put Elijah down for his midday nap Wednesday afternoon and went about her business. After she was convinced he was in REM sleep, she went into our room, where he naps in his Pack And Play, and checked on him.

In true Elijah form, he had removed his pants and diaper and his little bottom was thrust high into the air as he snored. Diana decided to let sleeping babies lie. She thought at worst he would pee all over himself and she’d have to deal with a damp angry son.

She thought.

After a bit, she heard the telltale recitations of the alphabet and the theme to Sesame Street chirping from our room that meant Eli was awake. As she slid our door open, it hit her like a ton of bricks. Something terrible had happened.

Apparently in his sleep, Elijah was dreaming of chocolate or mud. Because he not only made a horrible accident, he rolled in it in his sleep. And it was everywhere.

Diana said what anyone would in this situation, “Aaaarrrrrgh!”

Elijah summed up the situation in his greatest sentence to date, “Eli poo poo. Not Good.”

Diana has told this story over and over again in the hopes that she will receive sympathy. The only thing she ever gets is the listener’s hysterical laughter at that punch line.